I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
