I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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