thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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