help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
