So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
