are you so shy because you have an std?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
