dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
