she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The best revenge is premature balding
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
