He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Randomize