I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
send nudes
from the living room?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
