if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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