just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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