Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Can Purell be used as lube?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
