You really coming over, don't trick.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
