Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
