Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
