his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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