Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
