Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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