Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
