no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Randomize