I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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