Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
