hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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