Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
