This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
