wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize