Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Randomize
