The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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