Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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