don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
