Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
