I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
