So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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