as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
