she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
it's like iHOP with fire
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
