I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
