New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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