apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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