i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
