Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
you had me at cake vodka
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
