your thong is hanging out like whoa
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
