I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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