Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
