is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
