I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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