I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
