Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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