Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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