shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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