yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
