I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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