i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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