i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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