I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
