so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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