Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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