i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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