sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
