you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize