READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
