Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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